


Are You Happy?

by iamavacado



Series: Some Sanders Sides Stories [11]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: A lot of Implications, Angst, Are you happy, Gen, Implied Fight, M/M, Sad, Slice of Life, implied abusive relationship, implied argument, implied roceit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-30 21:58:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15105677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamavacado/pseuds/iamavacado
Summary: If you're truly destined to be with him...now is not the time to worry about it.





	Are You Happy?

**Author's Note:**

> This is an idea that i had. Its a small blip that probably isnt interesting enough to read, but we're doing it anyway. Enjoy.

The air was still.

Not a leaf blew. Not a blade of grass stirred. The sound of the pounding music inside the bar was muffled due to its concrete walls, but it was still easily heard outside. However, the spell it seemed to cast on the people who went near it stopped at the entrance. Because even though minutes before, Roman had been on the dance floor impressing ladies, and even more so, the gentleman, now he was on the bench outside of the establishment. He was downing drinks that he didn't have to pay for, and winking at the ones who raised their glass in his direction, but now he was quiet. He crossed one leg over the other and further drew his jacket around himself. It used to be stark white, with a red zipper down the middle, but now there was a reddish pinkish stain on it that smelled of sour fruit. He'd went a little too far with the flirting, and his mouth outran his brain.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, but he ignored it. It was probably Declan anyway. He'd been on Roman’s back all weekend, which is partly what prompted this little weekend getaway around the corner. Besides, Roman had already called Virgil and asked for the couch until morning. Virgil, of course, was going to give him the bed, which made Roman tear up, but that was neither here nor there. It was nearing three in the morning, and all he had to do was wait for that familiar silver convertible rolling up the gravel driveway to the bar. Each breath curled like steam on the way out. He might as well have been smoking cigarettes, since his lungs felt tight and small right now anyway.

Then Roman spotted a little movement out of the corner of his eye, and when he saw the lights reflect off the glasses, he bit his lip and looked pointedly forward.

Logan sat down next to him. Neither of them said anything. Logan offered no greeting, nor apology, and neither did Roman. In fact, Roman scooted as far away from Logan as he could without falling off the bench. If there were a different bench, he surely would've taken it. His legs were getting to the point of being numb because of his choice to wear jeans on a night like this, so standing up and walking away didn't seem like much of an option.

They didn't look at each other either. Logan fidgeted with his hands in his lap, and his back was as straight as could be. He was staring out into the night, watching the nearly empty street, tensing up at each passing car, wondering if it would be the one to pick Roman up before he could spit out what he was thinking. 

Logan looked at the ground. Caught the shoes he'd bought Roman in his peripheral.

“Are you happy?” he asked. It was a small, quiet question that drifted into the air. There was no wind to blow it, so it just stayed there. Roman didn't look over.

“What?” His voice was quiet too. And a little hoarse. But Logan would know that already.

Logan asked again. He looked back up at the street. A couple walked along the sidewalk holding hands. They were laughing, clearly a little tipsy. “Are you happy?” His voice was more of a prompt now.

Roman didn't answer for a few seconds, and when he did, his voice came out a little harsher than he expected it to. “Why are you asking me that?”

There was a small pause. The air was so motionless that he felt his words wouldn't even reach him. But if he didn't say this now, he never would. So he took a deep breath, and quietly let it out. “Because... I'll back off.”

Roman had been looking at the ground, but that made him glance over just the tiniest bit. He didn't say anything, which was a bid for Logan to continue.

“That's all I've ever wanted, since the day I met you.” Logan adjusted his glasses for nothing if to give his hands something to do. “I saw you, and, I saw you smile, and I decided. I decided, 'That’s what I want. I want to see that smile every single day, for the rest of my life.’”

The moment in between breaths might as well have lasted a lifetime. Roman looked out into the street as a car sped past, slicing through the silence. He stuck his hands in his pocket and turned his phone off vibrate. He still didn't look at Logan.

Regardless, Logan continued. “I realized, that when I knew I...wanted to be with you, I had failed to consider your...feelings. I was calculating _my_ future with _you_ in it, instead of...letting you choose your own future. You're allowed to make your own choices. Be with who you want.” He glanced at the stain on Roman’s jacket before going on. “I was convinced Declan did nothing but make you depressed. When you lashed out, I blamed it on him. When you pushed me away, I thought it was his fault. When you said no…” He actually looked at Roman now. His eyes were shining, and even though he didn't expect the look to be reciprocated, he still looked. Roman refused to return the gesture. “I thought, 'it can't be me.’” He looked at the ground once again. “But, there doesn't have to be a reason. It doesn't have to make sense to me, because it makes sense to you. So…” he trailed off, letting his hands fall back into his lap.

After a considerable pause, Roman prodded him. “So?”

Logan huffed out a breath. It was like a dragon had ran out of fire. “So...I just want you to be happy. And, if Declan makes you happy, then…” he swallowed. “I'll leave you alone. So, I just want to know.” A pause. “Are you happy.”

Roman stared across the street for a long time. A rock had seemed to lodge itself in his throat, and he attempted to alleviate the pressure before speaking again. He looked up at the lights lining the roof of the bar. Flies circled them. “Yes.” The word was a garbled sound that forced itself up from the bottom of his stomach.

“Yes, what?”

He breathed sharply through his nose, and looked anywhere but at Logan. His voice was choppy and sounded nothing like him. “Yes, I'm happy.”

Logan dared one last look at Roman, silently begging him to meet his eyes. “Are you sure?”

For the life of him, Roman couldn't look. He gripped his phone in his pocket like it was Logan's hand. His words wobbled on the way out, and stumbled their way into the air. “Yes, I'm sure.” He couldn't let Logan see that his eyes were also shining. “I'm very sure,” he repeated. That's all he could say now. 

Logan looked down at his hands. They had gone limp and still in his laps. When he breathed out through his mouth, it was shaky. It matched the way he would feel if he stood. But he did anyway. “Okay,” he said. He didn't look at Roman. “I'll leave you alone then.” 

He walked away.

**Author's Note:**

> Comment if u made it this far


End file.
